Just recently, my husband and I were on vacation; we went out into nature daily and did some hiking. As we were out on the trails, I noticed how different people behaved and reacted as we passed each other. I learnt about hiking etiquette only in my 20s when I lived on the west coast of the USA; I didn’t hike before that, in the urban environment of the capital city of Malaysia. I learnt then that you greet people with a simple, “hello” or “good day,” when you meet someone on the trail and make a short moment of eye contact. This is a way of gauging, acknowledging that we are safe and mean no harm to one another; that we are fellow hikers on the trail with no ill intent. I found this to be “civilized” and essential as a human being, just plain common courtesy. I adopted this practice in my life, even in the urban-setting where I live and work, especially when in a building.
This however is not always the experience on the trails or for that matter, in the urban surroundings, here in Europe or in North America in the 2020s; I am finding that people are no longer greeting each other. In fact, they even avoid eye-contact and provide no acknowledgement that you are even present. I perceive this as a lack of manners, and sometimes downright rude when you greet them and they don’t even react or acknowledge in kind. It’s basic human decency to greet one another when you go into public space, which for me again is respectful and a sign of education. Growing up in an urban, big-city environment, where more than a million people live, I can see how this basic human courtesy can get lost, as people hurry around and there is a certain anonymity in the mass. But on a trail or even in a smaller town, it should be customary to greet someone we meet on the way.
A few years ago, a film was released “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” One part that stood out for me, in this action-comedy film, was a fight-scene in the pub. It is violent, so if that disturbs you, don’t watch it. However, the fight is well choreographed and it describes a very simple idea, “Manners maketh man” - The way one behaves towards others, reflects the person’s values as a human being on the inside. It is an old proverb that has been in existence since 14th-century Britain. In the film, the scene shows how a master warrior-spy defends his student by fighting ruffians, who have a hold on the student. Nothing is as it seems, as the master is clothed as a well-dressed, middle-aged gentleman, hiding his ability to fight as well as his weapons. The ruffians on the other hand are crude, vile and arrogant, displaying their aggression, brute force and weapons openly. They are rude and insulting to everyone around, in contrast, the master is polite and subtle, flaunting neither his skill nor his intentions; this is a sign of a true master and someone confident in their own abilities. He teaches them a lesson by beating them at their own game, mirroring their violence, but with proper manners and style - “Manners maketh man.”
There are certain rules that humanity abides by, determined by the society we live in; a kind of living code. If we follow these, we are welcomed into these communities, if we do not, then we may be ostracized. In this day and age, we are not only face-to-face with one another, but online behind a screen as well, making communication more complex and prone to misunderstandings. Therefore, good manners are even more essential than before to prevent confrontation and aid living together successfully. However, many seem unaware or unbothered. The social bonds we used to have are deteriorating, we are becoming laxed about simple things that were once commonplace. Many are too preoccupied with the creation of their digital persona, that they have forgotten the most simple, basic rules of living with others. I came across an article called Hiking Etiquette on the US National Park Service, which defines 7 points of hiking etiquette and states the ‘”golden rule”: treat others the way you want to be treated.” I am in agreement with this, not just for hiking but also for life.
Image by Gianni Crestani on Pixabay
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